The Boy Is Definitely My Child

I have to write this down, RIGHT NOW, because I am dying laughing. I can hardly see because there are tears pouring down my face.

Joshua is standing in the doorway to our bedroom brushing his teeth… why, I don’t exactly know, but Ollie is supposed to be doing the same thing in the bathroom. I can hear Ollie bumbling around and then I hear everything (toothbrush, timer, etc) hit the floor. All I hear out of the kid is “JESUS!”

The look on Joshua’s face was priceless. He closed his eyes, pursed his lips around his toothbrush and became motionless. Then he glared and pointed at me. I am notorious for saying this when I drop things, or whenever something happens that warrants an expletive. This is absolutely my fault. I won’t win mother of the year with this episode.

The reason that this is so funny, for those who don’t know, is that we are practicing Jews. I wasn’t raised a Jew, but Joshua was and that’s how we’ve decided to raise our family. Now Joshua is explaining to Oliver how we shouldn’t say “Jesus” and how it could be offensive to people. Now he’s looking at me and telling the boy to remind me it’s not OK to say…. thanks Joshua. He says “It’s not blasphemous because we’re Jews, but it IS ridiculous.”

Meanwhile, I still think it was funny, and I’m surprised I didn’t laugh myself into labor.

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