Conversations go a little something like this:
Him: I have a fail proof plan for getting elected, I think this could totally work.
Me: We’ll have to run this by the Bigger Captor, since he’ll be your campaign advisor and all, but what do you have?
Him: OK, here goes
Step 1. Surreptitiously re-introduce the T-Rex into Wyoming.
Step 2. Allow the T-Rex population to over run Wyoming territory and make the property value drop.
Step 3. Purchase a large portion of land since it will be cheap due to rampant T-Rex herds.
Step 4. Tame wild T-Rex herd.
Step 5. Train tamed T-Rexes to hold campaign signs and and have them stand at major intersections.
Me: What about platforms?
Him: Well, first we are going to re-introduce double spaced into writing then have reform camps for those people who keep using single space. And then, we’re bringing back the Arby’s 5 for 5 deal.
Me: What else?
Him: Nothing, those are pretty strong platforms, I mean, once you get Arby’s 5 for 5 back, what else do you need?
Meanwhile, the Bigger Captor is beating his head against a brick wall (Which he really shouldn’t do because his head is oddly shaped enough already.)
The brother is playing with a soothie pacifier that’s laying on the table:
Him: What’s the reason for these oddly shaped pacifiers. Why aren’t they like the old school ones? Those worked just fine didn’t they?
Me: It’s to help reduce nipple confusion
Him: Yeah, that’s happened to me a few times.
Me: (puzzled face) oookkkaaayyyy. . .
Grandma: I haven’t done my “pay-it-forward” yet this Christmas
Him: It’s not too late to start, just keep it in the family! *extends hand*
He’s full of priceless nuggets… I won’t post them all now. They’re good random fodder for miscellaneous entertainment. . .