The Bigger Captor says being pregnant makes me crazy; I say he’s full of it. I think he just makes stuff up because he forgets about things and then wants to blame me for it. Some examples:
Squash: A few weeks ago, I was gone and the Bigger Captor wanted to cook a squash. So he called and asked me how to do it. He says I told him to cut it in half, salt and pepper it, then put it face down in the oven. He also says he asked repeatedly if it should be in a dish of some kind, to which I repeatedly assured him, “No. Just put it on the rack in the oven.” Fast forward a week later when he cooks the other half, I ask how he did it, and he tells me, “The same way you had me do it last time.” He gives me the steps, and I freak out because he said he didn’t put it in a pan. He freaks out at me because he swears I told him to do it that way. Now there is burnt squash all over the bottom of the oven from where it fell apart. He tells me I have to clean it up. I don’t even like squash.
Moving: When we moved to Hungary (pregnant with the Tiniest Captor), we had to pack up our old house, which required downsizing and getting rid of things. Apparently, I told him to put a bunch of things in the garage sale pile. Things like my wicker penguin, the Foreman grill, the waffle iron, and my soul. Once our household goods arrived here in Hungary, I started unpacking and asking where these items were. He stood there in disbelief, not having any idea of what to say to me. I think he mumbled, “I’m sorry?” and walked away to bang his head against a wall.
Decisions in general: He claims that I change my mind about something about 1,500 times before I can make a decision on something. And even then, I
might will change it again. He calls it “frustrating”; I call it “keeping things exciting.”