Did you notice how the title rhymed? Clever, huh? Not really, but I laughed at myself, so it counts for something, right?
The Bigger Captor hasn’t let me out of bed much, and I am not allowed to pick up the baby which is uber sad, because she crawls to my side of the bed, stands up and squawks at me. So then someone else has to put her on the bed so she can bang on my face with whatever she happens to have in her hands at the moment.
The Smaller Captor has been semi-helpful. I say that because sometimes he does something right away or without being asked, other times, there is more debate about the task (read: emptying the dishwasher) than what went on in the Continental Congress. -All the drama, none of the cool outfits.
This kind of reminds me of last year before the Tiniest Captor was born, when I was trapped in my bed, not allowed out to do anything, and every time I considered putting my toes on the ground, an alarm went off.
The Bigger Captor had to go to parent teacher conferences without me yesterday since sitting up for more than about 30 minutes ends up being rather painful. The people at the school thought I fell down the stairs or something. The first thing that popped into my head when I heard that was the line from Death Becomes Her, “you pushed me down the stairs!”
At any rate, it turns out the Smaller Captor is doing quite well in his work, as a third grader he is testing at above average for a 4th grade level. Which is good, but let’s face it, a kid his age in China is already doing calculus and speaking 5 languages (probably) He has been, however, taking his math homework out of his backpack and sticking it in his locker at school every day and then lying about it, saying he has none. Except the teachers caught on to him since he was doing it in his spare time. So they told us. . .
What follows is the Smaller Captor’s accounting of what he did and why it was wrong. (written exactly how he wrote it, sans bad handwriting)
How I Got Grounded
It all began one day my dad went to a meeting and figured out that I lied about my math homework. everyday I had homework I either put it in my locker or did not do it in my math book. So when I came home and my parents asked (do you have homework?) and the answer was no (lie). Of course I was the one who put it in my locker and leid about it. It went on for a week until Friday before fall break and I was sooo close! No luck my secret was out! all of my toys got taken away and all I have left is my books my bed buddy and my dresser and my stuffed animals. For now on I swear I will not lie and never ever get grounded again.
writin by Oliver Tolin who lied about his math homework
Where does he come up with this stuff? He cracks me up, so it is super hard to stay mad at him. Yes I made him empty out his room of toys, but really it’s because he needed a deep clean of his room and needs to pick things to donate or get rid of. (I’m not THAT crazy) The Smaller Captor’s writing itself, is about a half of page in his 8yr old chicken scratch. I’m having it framed and giving it to him at his college graduation.
Happy Friday everyone, I hope you have an excellent weekend!