I’m sitting here watching the snow gracefully and quietly fall down from a grey sky. It’s quiet out there, but in here, a quick but steady thump-thump-thump plays on. I have to sit attached to these monitors for an hour, three times a day. Toby seems wound up this morning. His heartbeat has been in the high 150’s or low 160’s. I bet if he could see the snow, he would be calmer.
Yesterday was Day 1 of my newest captivity- it didn’t go so hot. I had planned to jump right back into the mode of the previous “captivity” blogs from when I was on bed rest with Sarah, but I think it was their goal to break me on day one so I would comply with whatever they wanted me to do. And oh, how it has worked!
The first night here was wretched. I had a headache that wasn’t backing down (turns out it was a migraine in infancy stages) and this bed is full of air, so when you move, it adds or removes air as needed. During the day, it’s not such an issue, but at night- every time you move a muscle, this bed says “whhiirrrrr” and re-adjusts. Not very conducive for sleeping, of this, you can be sure.
Needless to say, when I had “woken” up my headache was in full blown trying to kill me mode. Tylenol wasn’t cutting it- coffee didn’t help- and I had made Josh shut all the blinds and turn all the lights off. I was considering going to go hide in the bathroom.
The medical staff finally convinced me to take something for my head- the something was called Dilaudid and they gave it to me with some anti nausea stuff. Thought it would make me feel better. WRONG.
Sure, it made my head feel a little bit better, but soon I was paralyzed with fear because I was so nauseated. I had Josh get me some crackers and just the act of opening them sent me running to the bathroom. Not my finest hour.
Later, I felt better albeit hungry. So I tried to eat some lunch and take it easy for a bit. Since I was feeling better, Josh insisted I go to my “pool therapy” session. Begrudgingly, I went.
There were three other girls in the pool. I was the fresh meat. It was easy to see who was the queen bee of the group. They sized me up pretty quickly and during that time I started to feel a bit sick again. Determined to make it through, I clung to the wall, sipping cold water from my jug, while answering their spanish inquisition.
Then it happened. It was coming and I was powerless to stop it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to waddle out of a pool when you are in water up to your neck? Not easy folks, I assure you. But I made it out, grabbing the stair railings and pulling myself up and out without using the stairs and practically throwing myself through the locker room door. Unfortunately someone was in the single stall so I found a trash can. The poor nurse came out to find a dripping wet heaving girl clinging to the sink- whimpering.
When I could finally hold myself together, the nice nurse who stumbled upon me got me covered in robes and tons of warm blankets from the cath lab (they share the locker room). Then they got my nurse from the L&D to come get me. The girls in the pool just looked at me funny when I came out of the locker room. I don’t think I will make the cut to be “in” the group. It should be interesting when I go back this afternoon. I’m considering faking being asleep or suddenly coming down with a disease so I don’t have to go.
When I came back up to the room Josh felt horrible for making me go- and apologized about a million times. After that it was pretty much lay around and try not to be sick. Fun times to be had by all.
For the night, they gave me an ambien so I could sleep. Hopefully sleeping would help get rid of the headache since the drugs only sort of helped but getting sick just increased the pressure in my head. Miraculously, I did sleep! It felt so good, I think it was the best I have slept in weeks, honestly.
So, that’s pretty much day 1. I wasn’t expecting it to be a day of torture, but, I was wrong. And that will teach me to have expectations! Toby is still safe and sound inside. Tomorrow they will look at fluid levels and his dopplar values. More to come on that.