I should be on a plane right now. In fact, I should be on a 2nd plane by now. But instead, I am typing in the dark whilst the Tiniest Captor baby snores in the pack-n-play between the two beds in our hotel room. I had to wait in the dark for her to fall asleep before I could open the computer, since all she wanted to do was play peek-a-boo with me and babble nonsense. She’s too cute for her own good.
I checked the flights first thing when I got up this morning, everything looked good. Around the time we completed the obligatory “finish packing/the last minute cleaning/try not to scream at each other” phase of the trip we got the news our flight had been cancelled from my mother.
I got online and checked for myself. The Denver to Washington D.C. had been cancelled, but the Washington D.C. to Vienna was still a go. Just no way to get to D.C. Awesome.
Thus began the 3 some odd hours I would spend on hold with United over various phone calls.
After the first hour and 6 minutes of holding, I finally was connected to someone. And once that happened, the call dropped. I can’t list the expletives here that ensued. If you’ve ever seen Robin Williams standup routine about golf, you’ll know what I mean when I say “!*%& hope”
The Bigger Captor was scared.
So I re-dialed and started the song and dance all over again. Take another hour off of my life. THEN finally a live human who can’t pronounce my last name to save her life (even though I’ve corrected her on it three times) comes on. She makes me wait on hold for another hour while they re-ticket our flights. She must me a sadist- in fact, I think that’s probably a prerequisite to be an employee in the airline industry.
At any rate, if I ever have to hear that hold music I might just lose my mind. It will be the trigger for me like Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Relax” was for Derek Zoolander. Except I won’t have a Malaysian Prime Minister to kill. It will be some unsuspecting bystander.
So that brings us here, to our hotel. We decided to come down to Denver while we were on the phone in case we could get on a flight this evening, but no dice. So we’ve seen some friends, and are relaxing while we wait for the flight tomorrow evening. Except the weather here in Denver is supposed to get bad tomorrow and start snowing tonight. It would be just my luck . . .