Alone With The Children Captors: Day 1

After the tiny captor fell and busted his lip open on the coffee table yesterday I felt like a terrible parent. To punish myself I decided to take on the gnarliest foe of all adult human beings: an IKEA project.

Notice the image below. Clearly these jokers think a single person can’t assemble their furniture. Also, the guy in the bottom left apparently can’t understand right angles and then somehow has a magic phone cord that is attached to IKEA. I didn’t see one in my bag from the store, so I was on my own right off the bat.

Use two people?

Use two people?

I did have helpers though. Dog captor # 2, the Tiny captor, the Princess captor, and the Smaller Captor all sat around staring at me, moving pieces and generally were just always in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The Tiny captor just wanted to play in the box.

The Tiny captor just wanted to play in the box.

The Princess captor just expected it to *poof* be done.

The Princess captor just expected it to *poof* be done.

The Smaller Captor wanted to take a piece to go play with. Not build.

The Smaller Captor wanted to take a piece to go play with. Not build.

Libby says: Uh, this thing needs a wrench and I don't have thumbs.

Libby says: Uh, this thing needs a wrench and I don’t have thumbs.

 

The joke is on IKEA, though. I got this sucker built all on my own- little people meddling or not.  AND, (drum roll please) I didn’t injure myself.  (If you’re curious, there was a terrible waxing accident and then I tried to remove a finger with a rotary cutter- and no, I don’t make this stuff up)

Ta-Da!Isn’t it pretty? Heck yes it is! It’s sturdy, squared and ready for the Princess Captor to lay her precious head down to sleep in a nest fit for, well, a princess. Except. . .

The Smaller Captor helped me get it up the stairs and aptly pointed out that it wasn’t going to fit through the door.

“Uh, mommy. . . I think it’s too big”

“No way dude, we can make it work.”

“I don’t think we can.”

After trying multiple times in every configuration possible.

“Yeah. . . go get me the wrench would you?”

To my defense, I only had to take the headboard part off to get it through the door. Then was able to get it set up and all ready to go.

IMG_2619

See, isn’t it cute?!

Princess BedShe loves it.

She loves it so much that she threw up in it this morning and now I am washing all of it.

Where’s that 1/4 bottle of wine?

 

 

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